No direction home

Listening to a lot of Dylan lately and given the fact that i´m practicly homeless for a few months now a question pops up again and again: What is a home, what does that mean „home“?
To most it´s something you take for granted and mostly it´s just the four walls sourrounding you and the stuff you put in between them. I found out that having something i´d call a home, at least to me, means something else... far more.
The last time i really had a home was when i lived on my own shortly after i moved to this city, i had a heart full of hope, a fistfull of friends, the love of my life and a place where i liked to go to... even though there was almost no warm water for most of the time, no internet, no phone etc. That was the last time i could recall that i really felt at home. Waking up there after a night full of arguments, right next to my girl, watching the sunlight on her skin listening to the Weakerthans and a city about to wake up... that´s when i felt „at home“. Don´t get me wrong there was troubled times too (i guess i got a habit) but after all i could handle that stuff, see it through and continue. I felt like „whatever storm might come my way, i can brave it, whatever pile of shit me and the irish girl might be confronted with, we would just pick our shovels of hope and do away whit it." That´s when i felt at home, feeling at home meant feeling strong and secure. That feeling´s been disapearing slowly when i started moving from one apartment to the next and finally it left me completely after we broke up and i was forced to move out of the last four walls i lived in. It got replaced by every broken hearts best friends: fear, depression, desperation and a serious drinking habit.
I know for sure that i won´t regain this feeling just by moving into the next shoebox (even though that might be a good start) because i learned that it´s not about where you live but who is living there... Is it you? Is it the person you want to be? Do you feel save?
To put it in mighty Callahans words: „Do you feel lucky Punk?“
To be honest i forgot myself in all that excitement...